Jan 17, 2006

When Will It Come.......

Soon it will be 6 years that I will have lived in the Northern California City that I live in. This has been a long time in the wilderness for me. I really desire deeper friendships and a sense of community and neither of those things are there for me....Part of me thinks if I just move back to my old city all would be well....I have some guys that live in that city that I have known many, many years....one I have know about 25 years.....I really long for a sense of belonging and community....I don't find that at church or work....I am probably deluding myself by thinking that things would be better in my old city where my friends and family still live....but 6 years is a long time.....

I see three possibilities:
1. I am in some sort of wilderness that God is trying to teach me something.
2. I suck at making friends
or 3. It is a hard phase in life to make friends....I am 38 years old, a family with 3 kids and I work all day long like everyone else in my peer group, so that does not leave much time for friends and community.

Where is the Acts 2 type of friendships and commuity that I long for? Maybe what I had was just something for college and now this is the best it is going to be? I just know that I am an extrovert that does not have that many friends where I live and I am frustrated by where I am. I know this is heightened by the fact that I am not as close to Jesus as I could be....Everything seems worse when I walk on my own through life's struggles.

Help me Jesus, Hold me Jesus.

Psalm 62:5-8
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge. Selah

I will wait, I will hope in what is not seen,
I will trust my Jesus