Mar 30, 2008


I am going to be writing a poem a day during National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo). I have started to write more recently and this is a good challenge that I think I am ready for. It seems like there are a lot of people out there doing it, so this should be fun.

Here I go, I'm jumping in!

There are some great resources over at ReadWritePoem for the NaPoWriMo, especially this post, informal talk about forms: a brief naprowrimo approach. They also have a button that you can put on your blog:

Mar 21, 2008

Feeling Better

I think I have been feeling somewhat better these days. I have been writing more poems and I don't feel depressed as I did before. Also, I'm wondering if the weather has a little bit to do with it as it has been warmer and sunnier. I'm also about to go on vacation and my wife and I are going on a 4 night cruise. So something like that would tend to lift anyone's spirits a bit. Whatever the reason, I feel somewhat better.

Here is a poem I wrote earlier in the week that is lighter in content, for the most part, but was something I had fun writing:

Stream of Consciousness

The words are in my head
And want to come out.
Where will they be,
Should I hurry or scurry,
Where, o Where will I go.
This way or that,
My fingers don’t know where the paper flows.
It keeps going
the page might
End and Then
Where will the letters
Go, Go the stream of consciousness
Knows not where it goes,
Poem to prose,
How does one know.
I type and I’m tight,
But I want to be light
On my fingers,
But they are so often
Stuck in pockets,
But the sockets of my eyes
Can be so dry that I can’t
See what I would write.
Shall it light or heavy,
I think I will buy a Chevy,
Take it to the Levy,
But you know about the levy and Chevy,
Well they’re not wet.
This can be fun to run
Seeing where the writing will take me.
Will I go back to correct
Back to correct,
Or leave as is,
And was.
I don’t know where I’ll go.
But the words want to flow.
The streams in the dessert.
The words are down in there
And they want to bust out.
Oh, now a trout,
That could bust and out
A trout that could swim
Like a dream
Ripped at the seam
Dashed on the rocks
Its no Goldilocks.
But like hard liquor
It goes down and it’s bitter,
The burn and the bile
It will take a while,
For the words to work
Themselves out of my brain,
Like a train on the track,
They’re not coming back.
Quick think,
I’m on the brink,
Hillary threw the kitchen sink,
She’s playing hardball.
She wants politics to be her playground,
Is she the bully or
Just working the angles or
Working us over,
Trying to pulling over,
Trying to change her tune,
Just whistling Dixie,
She’s no trixie.
What do I prattle on
About the rattle
And the battle’s on.
The election,
Most important ever,
Or so they say,
But we’ll live another day,
Another scandal,
Another broken promise,
Empty words,
More complicated scenarios,
Briefed at 3 in the morning,
While Saturday night live re-runs
drone on in the background,
The president laughs,
As Chris Matthew has more interviews
And there are more briefings,
That we never know about,
until we’re in another one that we
Can’t get out of,
Exercise in democracy and
Nation building,
Suddenly from light hearted,
The tone changes to heavy.
I was just practicing,
But that’s the funny thing,
You never know how
You get from A to Z.

March 17, 2008

Mar 12, 2008

Coming Back to It again.....Brokenness

I always want to pretend I'm OK. I'm not.

At times I can be so sad and at other times I can be so angry. Sometimes I do not get along very well with my middle son, but at times it is more me than him, if I am being honest with myself. I would like to get away from this blog's name but I keep coming back around to the brokenness within me. I can't fix myself no matter how hard I try. I need your help, Jesus. I guess this like my journal at times, when I can't bring myself to open my paper journal. Maybe it is the fact that at times, people do respond back and that does not happen with my paper journal.

I long for deeper friendships, and friends that actually live in the city I am in, not 100 miles away in my old city. It is hard to make friends as everyone at this station in life is so busy with their own families. I long for community that I just don't have now. I long for one or more buddies that I can do something with on the spur of the moment and just hang out. I reach out to many of my friends that are far away, but that is not really happening much. The distance is great enough that "Out of sight, out of mind" comes into play. Or at least that is how it feels where I am sitting. 8 years just past at the beginning of this month that I have been gone from my home town. I sometimes think it would be great to move back to my old city, but I am not sure if it would or not. I have friends there that I have had there since high school, and now I am 40 years old. My sister is in that city. My parents are in that city. I have said on multiple occasions that if I died I would not want to be buried in this city, but my old city. But, my family is in this city. My kids have spent most of their lives in this city, one was born here. Why has it been so hard here. I feel like I have been in the wilderness up here and I don't know why...I don't know if I just suck at making friends or what. But also, know matter where you go, there you are....I will bring myself with me if I go back to my home city.

I also know that I'm not turning to Jesus to meet my needs very much at all. I don't know, maybe I am depressed as well and that can cloud how you feel about things. Jesus, help me in all areas of my life. I am so weary from all the busyness of work, home and life in general. There is a lot of noise that fills up my brain, a lot of distractions that keep from drawing closer to Jesus. Oh boy, life just feels hard right now. I want a break form things....I guess I am having a little break right now....I was going to go to Costco with my wife and son and then I was having a little bit of melt down over a sandwich I was making. My wife gave me a pass on Costco. So I do have a little break. As I am writing this I do feel somewhat better. I'm not handling stress in my life that well in recent days. It all can be overwhelming at times. I am weary, I am tired, but I am not as stressed as I was 30 minutes ago.

I am broken
I need more of Jesus.
I want more friends nearby.
Things aren't as bad as they seem,
life can be difficult, but
it is good to have a break once in a while.
Thank you Jesus.
Fill my brokenness.
Be my friend, Jesus.
Fix me, because I can't fix myself

Thinking a lot lately

I have been thinking about creativity a lot lately and wanting to write more. Maybe needing to write more. I wrote a silly poem today that was fun about coffee and the, on then sly I posted it in the coffee room. Here it is:

Coffee Room Etiquette

I see the pot,
and it’s not a lot.
Do I take and make,
or just take.

To arrive at the pot
and it’s dark goo.
What’s one to do?
Someone took
and did not look

My cup will kill it,
will I refill it?
Take and not make.
Mostly I make,
so I can freely take.
No guilty conscience here.

Addiction, not me…Oh Nooo!
Who didn’t make the coffee,
left the quarter inch burn?!?!?!?

The worst in want,
is not an empty pot,
but when overflowed,
the culprit did go,
knowing someone
will clean
their mess.

Do I take and not make?

Hopefully there will be more such writings. I have been so stressed out about most things in life. I need to have more fun than I have been having because life has been just plain hard. I think I make it harder than it is, really. I am often grumpy with my family when I could be writing little ditties about coffee and other silly things. I really need to lighten up more and relax, let down my hair. I think I am often too serious and need more levity, so I can have longevity. So many things in the news are depressing: Elliot Spitzer, the credit crisis, global warming, Iraq, mudslinging politics, gas prices, and the endless reports of vicious crimes.

I just really need to lighten up and have more fun and let my hair down a little. There are enough depressing things going on in the world without my adding to it.