Jan 13, 2010

Ocean

Twenty-Ten,
New decade comes.
Same person I was
Let myself
soar.
Nothing, no more
gets in the way.
Nothing, no more
will crush my spirit.

Will happen again
I’m a skin so thin.
Heart close to sleeve
sometimes too earnest
sometimes too fragile.
Sometimes?
Most times
the whole ocean
rushes into me
overwhelms,
wells up emotion

Waves break over
sent tumbling.
I catch my breath,
gulping in feelings
sends me reeling.

Must toughen
skin
Not likely
soon.

January 13, 2010

Jan 8, 2010

Goal Formation for 2010

I need some big hairy audacious goals this year.....I want to go for broke....I want a better story filled with passion and zeal. I want to strive and reach further than my grasp can reach. I don't want to settle; I don't want to shirk; I want to live abundantly!


I want to have more of the 3 R's in my life this year:

Reading, Running, & Writing!


I have started my goals. I have the different areas I want to cover, which include Family, Physical, Emotional, Spiritual, Writing, and Work.
Here are the goals I have so far:
Family:
I want to go out to breakfast with each of my kids on a separate Saturday of each month.
I want to go out on a date once with my wife (Not including Anniversary and Birthdays).
While not a goal necessarily, Becky are attending 7 week parenting class to just brush up things and get some good perspectives on parenting.
Physical Health:
I want to run a Half Marathon this year. I will most likely be running in a Half Marathon in San Francisco on November 7th of this year. I created a schedule on a spreadsheet, like I did when I trained for the 5K I ran in September. I will be running about every other day, slowly increasing my time & distance; the schedule is made through March 31st. As part of my training & motivation I registered for a 5K on April 11th and a 10K on August 15th, both in San Francisco through San Francisco Dolphin South End Runners Club. I will create a new schedule a couple weeks before that time based on my progress that has taken place. I will also start doing some cross-training and core exercises to improve my overall health and strength. Eating will be something I will look at as well; I think I have been too friendly with the donuts at work :-)
Emotional/Mental Health:
I want to go to counseling through my EAP program. I went to a counselor and talked about depression, stress and how I interact with people. I talked about how more or less I get swept up by other people’s stress at times. She said that sometimes people who have permissive parents have a hard time with “boundaries,” this can lead to reacting. Also, the counselor recommended that I get a book called, SOS Help for Emotions, which I ordered on Amazon but found the first chapter online as a PDF. I also want to explore the possible need for medication for depression instead of just St. John's Wort, but at the moment I will stay the course and continue on with
exercise, etc for depression. I want to seek out new friendships and maintain/grow my existing friendships. I want to be content where I am and not always think that grass is greener somewhere else.

Spiritual Health:
This one is still in formation but I want these elements. Music worship, Journaling, and God's word. I need more specifics for this and will think and pray on this area.
Writing:
I will participate in National Poetry Writing Month in April, as I have the past two years. I want to possibly also commit to writing 100+ poems this year. I will write some longer piece of fiction, a short story or a childrens' book. As part of this, I am going to have a night, or day of the week where I take a break from online activities and do reading and writing. Currently I'm leaning towards doing this on Sunday or Sunday night.
Work:
I'm not sure what I want to do in this area. Will have to do more think on this. I am attending a class later this month and that may help in pointing me in the right direction.
I would like to take a lunch every day for an hour. Most days I don't take a lunch away from my desk. I also would like to implement more principals of Inbox Zero and take more control on how I spend my time, being more intentional in what I do as opposed to being reactive and obsessive. I'm not paid be good at moving emails around. There possibly needs to be more thought on this area.

In all of these goals I want to frame them in Better Stories. I read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and want to implement a lot of the ideas he laid out in his book. The subtitle says a lot about it,
"What I Learned While Editing My Life." He talks about Writing a better life and allowing the Author of Life, Jesus, to help you in doing that, editing your life into a better story.

I want to have more passion, more zeal, more "life" in living in 2010.

Dec 30, 2009

The Last Decade

The last decade I have in a the capital region of California. We moved here from the Bay Area to find better affordability and more room for our kids to run and play. Since we have come here that has been true and we even had a 3rd child while here. I think somewhere along the way, I lost my way so to speak. I forgot why we moved here.

For me, work has been generally stable, as I've only worked at two different companies during the time we've been here. In other areas of my life, it has not been as good. I don't have very many significant male friendships since living here, at least locally. I have several good friends back in my hometown that I've kept in touch with, but here, not so much.

I generally assess the year and look forward to the next at this time of year. I like to take stock of my life and look ahead to the new year, making goals for the new year. It seems even more significant that this is the start of a new Decade. This year I've come to the conclusion that I do not like living here. That is not the case for everyone in my family. My daughter loves living here. She's in 8th grade this year and has lots of friends at her school. But, anyway that has lead me to think about the past almost decade that we've lived here; we moved here in March of 2000. So it's close enough to say it's been a decade here in the Capital Region. What have we accomplished during this time? I don't think it was all a waste of time as I did earlier in the week.

Well, my kids have had a stable home to grow up in: They are 13, 11 and 8 years old. My youngest son has only know this area as home, and the other two barely remember our old city, other than visits to our family back there. My wife has completed her Mastera Degree and is a little over half way through a Ph. D. program. I have worked about half of my adult life here, developing in my career, growing and learning in my field as a business person in the technical realm. I've had a Renaissance of creativity while I've been up here. I have written over 200 poems since living here, not to mention other writings.....Wow, about 225 poems, I went back and counted them!!! I wrote 84 poems during the 90's

I really want to move back, and feel like if I stay here I will be stuck. I may have the possibility of transferring to my old city with my current company. What if I move back and I'm unhappy there? I miss the people, but what if I move back and it is terrible there. I've been living in fear, and excitement about the possibilities. My sister really wants me to move back as does my best friend, and I know my Mom would love it. Sometimes I've been escaping reality by doing searches on Craigslist for rentals back there, mapping to my company and my friends house from whatever rental I am looking at; scouting out the schools the kids could possibly attend; checking the API scores at those possible schools. There is also my wife getting a teaching job there after she is done with her PhD. There are a lot of "What Ifs" and I am afraid to really explore it all for fear that it may not happen and I'm stuck here for another decade and then I would be 52 instead of 42.

I need your help Jesus to not fear. And to not freak out.

I've been reading a Donald Miller book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It has really given me a lot to think about. The subtitle says a lot about it, "What I Learned While Editing My Life." He talks about Writing a better life and allowing the Author of Life, Jesus, to help you in doing that, editing your life into a better story. It really knocks up against the idea of "Being Stuck" which is what I've felt like for a while. I don't know if it is just depression or that I really am stagnant in my life. I want to move head first into the new year, with expectation and hope, instead of fear and trepidation. I need to cling to the many "Fear Not" verses that God has given.

Will return because I need to think about this decade further........

Nov 9, 2009

Quote Surprises Me

I was listening to an interview with Mary Karr on NPR the other day and she had a quote read by the interviewer that really grabbed my attention. I had to keep going back on the podcast to transcribe the quote:


“When you’ve been hurt enough as a kid it’s like having a trick knee. Most of your life you can function like an adult, but add in the right proportions of sleeplessness and stress and grief and the hurt-defeated self can bloom into place.” ~Mary Karr from her memoir, Lit


I felt it spoke to me so clearly. My life in the last 15 years or so has been pretty stable. I'm married and have three kids and all in all have a pretty good life. But so many times I feel the wounded-ness of my childhood overwhelming my life today when I have to much "sleeplessness and stress and grief," in my daily life. The pain and "trick knee" is palatable and can be very present at times. Sometimes I just can't shake it. The scabs are pulled off and the wounds can seem so fresh, so painful, so present.


I need the Great Physician to put a healing balm of love on my wounds. I feel sick and need a doctor. Heal me Jesus.

Sep 29, 2009

Did my 5K and still going!!

I ran in a 5K on September 19th and I'm continuing the running. Last night I ran 1.91 miles in 30 minutes. I think I'm going to be living a healthy lifestyle. I am actually enjoying the running.

It is past the 1/2 way point in the year, for sure, and I am going to revisit all my goals in the next few days and see how I'm doing. I want to make an assessment and start planning early for next year's goals.

Aug 14, 2009

I need to Be Healthy

I am going to run in a 5K race on September 19th as a way of getting healthy and putting exercise into my daily life. I found a website that has you do it in 6 weeks, From Couch Potato to 5K in 6 weeks:

From Couch Potato to 5K in 6 Weeks


I have a little less time than that so I am doing it in about 5 weeks.

Here I go!

Jun 9, 2009

The long, slow road to friendship in the desert

This is video of my feelings on friendship, rather a long drought of friendship where I live, or at least a sparseness of friendship.


video

Jun 4, 2009

Health Goals with assistance from a Health Coach

I met with a Mayo Health Clinic Health coach today and came up with some goals.

  • Exercise 2 times a week for 20 minutes over the next couple weeks.
  • Use my iPhone app, Lose It, to record the food I eat.
  • Eat at least 1 fruit and 1 vegetable serving a day (it's a start!).

I meet with the health coach again on the 18th and then after I return from vacation on July 14th.
He is going to send me some info that will help on food info.

I think this is realy good.  Also the Mayo Clinic EmbodyHealth Portal that I have access to has a lot of really good info on related to Fitness, Excercise and Stress.

Hopefully I will be able to work my goals while I am on vacation.  I will give it a good shot!

May 14, 2009

Elegy For Mike

Mike was a kid I used to know,
He came to Young Life pretty regularly
I gave him rides,
I hung out with him, Jason and Alex at times.

My wife tells me
his funeral Service notice
is posted on Facebook,
would have been only about 30 years old.
His parents must be heartbroken.

What happened in the past dozen years?
So much living, lived.
Did life unravel on him?
Choice were made, or not made.
Was it an accident,
or was it careless living?
I don’t know.

Now I’m writing a poem about,
a blond haired kid from Saratoga,
a kid whose parents loved him,
who I had some laughs with,
gave some rides to,
had some ice cream with,
drank coffee with in downtown,
just a small slice of life really.
He always seemed a little troubled,
but real and honest
in conversation.

He had called my friend,
at high and low points,
over the past couple years,
filling him in on life.
His life cut short,
is there anything
we could have done?
Maybe,
maybe not.

Regrets may remain,
but the grave does not care
and his parents’ hearts are broken,
with no more memories of Mike to be made.

May 12, 2009
"We get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." ~Paul Bowles

May 1, 2009

Can’t We Discuss It?

dis·cus·sion
NOUN:
1. Consideration of a subject by a group; an earnest conversation.
2. A formal discourse on a topic; an exposition.

I am a Democrat.
       I am a Republican.
I am a Libertarian.
       I am a Christian.
I am an Agnostic.
       I am a Communist.
I am a Fill-In-The-Blank

Affiliation trumps citizenship.

We are Balkanized,
       Fragmented,
Breaking apart,
       Instead of coming together.
The tectonic plates collide
       No other view
than yours
       Is heard,
Words spewed out,
       Partisanship trumps citizenship.

But, I am an American.

Care is not there.
                    Debate over
                                The person’s feelings,
All that matters is
YOUR            point
YOU

HAVE

TO

MAKE.
You’re Right
        they’re wrong.

You Win
        They lose

But, we’re all Americans.

Can’t be there be discussion?

“But so-and-so is ruining our country.”
                   Not true.
                   We’re Stronger than that.
Check back in 4 to 8 years,
         the country will still be standing.

But will we find understanding?
Will we hear one another?
Will we listen to anything?

        Or             will            our           blathering           voices,
        spouting            out           OUR         OPINIONS
        So                                                       Loud,
        SO VERY LOUD,

Matter more?


Will the other person’s Voice,
                       opinions,

                                  concerns,

                                                     be drowned out?

We are AMERICANS,

Can’t we embrace this common ground?

February 27, 2009

Written because of my frustration with the inability of being able to discuss any politics with out people crushing people’s feelings and only caring about their own opinions, both from the left and the right.  This is especially true of this type of discussion that happens online, on Facebook, Etc.