From Brokenness to Splendor

You think all is behind you,
Painful past, wounds suffered ages ago.
But the pain bubbles up from beneath,
Oozing into the present from cracks
That lead down to caverns of pain.

40 years old and the pain brings me back,
back to a childhood of brokenness.
The pain affects the type of parent I am,
The kind of man I am.
The anvil of pain pounded me and shaped me.
It keeps coming back
To me again and again.
When I least expect it,
It resurfaces.

Jesus heal me with your healing balm.
Bandage up my brokenness, fill up
The caverns of pain, bind up my wounds,
Free me from the captivity pain has bound me in,
Release me from the darkness in the caverns.
Bring me into your light,
Restore the ruins within me,
Rebuild the cities where my pain lives.
Bind up my broken heart.

Grow me into your oak of righteousness,
A display of your splendor.
Robe me in your garments of salvation,
With your jewels upon my head.

Ideas from Isaiah 61

Written January 24, 2008

Malise

I spoke to a long time friend this morning and we were talking about life and how it can be hard sometimes....I turned 40 in October and he's 42. Sometimes it is hard to determine when you tired, worn out, weary, or actually depressed. We live in a country that was founded on "Pulling your self up by the boot straps," so it can be hard to admit weakness, vulnerability. Do you go to a doctor and get checked out if you think you're depressed? Or do you just slough it off and try to ignore it, get a cup of coffee and move on with things.

I want things to be different for me. I have not written much lately. I have not played my guitar in ages. I have been immersed in technology and the Internet these days. I have been running on a hamster wheel each day have not gotten off long enough to take a look around....until lately.

I hope to write here more often, if nothing else, for myself, but if it encourages someone out there that would be great too.