Heavy Hearted Tonight

Reading a Facebook status of someone got me thinking. It is hard to wait. Patience is hard. I feel a bit of heartache, my own and others. I fell like I am a character is this poem I wrote a while back:

For the Broken

Poet, touch every hand.

Drop down every weight.

Lift every burden.

On the lead-lined highway

brokenness calls out;

desperate cries,

subtle sighs,

and pleading groans pour forth.

At the foot of the mountain

I hear the strong, quiet voice of God whisper,

“You are mine; I am not finished with you.

Take heart and be courageous.”

I walk, my head held higher.

My steps are planted more firmly.

In desperate moments

people are hurting.

“Be my voice.

Be my light.

Be my hands.

Be my comfort.

Be my vessel of grace.

Give them my Living Water.”

Written May 25, 2004

I feel a sadness, a mourning. I need your help, Jesus.

Lamentations 3:22-26
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

I end this on a more hopeful note that all is not bleak, Jesus is for me.

Psalm 37:23-27
If the LORD delights in a man's way,
he makes his steps firm;

though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.

They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be blessed.

Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Update on Goals

So far the only goal I've committed to is journaling which I have done every day. I must say that it has been great to be writing in my journal again daily because when I examine my life, pray via journaling it leads to me reading my Bible more and just being more conscious, or intentional of what I'm doing. I've also played guitar twice since the new year started. That is something I want to do more regularly.

Intentional. I really want to be that way.

Health. I need to start working out on a regular basis. It is so hard to get started. I could get going by walking the dog. The first step is getting workout clothes to work.

For friendships, I need to spend less time online and actually do something face to face.

Well, I will revisit all this again soon.

2009: Goal Planning Continued

I'm still thinking about my goals. I'm pretty sure I'm going to journal everyday. I want to have a health goal, that can consist of both mental and physical components. I want to have a family goal and friends goal. I may want a creativity goal, I'm not sure. The areas are:

• Spiritual
• Health
• People (Family and Friends)
• Work
• Creativity

This is sort of the order they will be in, but I think Health and People are on about the same level.
Creativity will have to be last and work, well that is in the mix pretty well because I am there about 9 or 10 hours a day.

I want this year to be more intentional than last year. I feel like I was being blown to and fro last year and at the mercy of everything in my life, and that led to feeling powerless. Now, I realize there will be many things that will be out of my control, but the things that are in my control, I want to be more intentional. I don't think I can plan out every aspect of my life, I just want to have things to shoot for.

I would like to maybe come up with a verse for the year that I can focus on, but that may take a little time. Maybe I can tie creativity into all of the goals, like a thread weaving through them, thinking of creativity more broadly that just writing.

I know that I can sometimes make some grand plans and not a lot comes from them. I think that it is better to have plans than not planning anything at all, and nothing will sure come about from no plans.

I'm not sure if I will journal on paper or online. Maybe it should be in a paper journal because there are less distractions. Maybe I will track my goals via this blog and journal in my paper journal. I wonder if I should get a new journal....that is probably not necessary....we'll see.

I think this is a really good start.

Update: Possible verses: Jeremiah 29:11-14 and/or Jeremiah 31:31-34, Isaiah 61