Aug 23, 2004


I have been browsing through a lot of different blogs and learning the ins and outs of blogging and was happy to discover Blog Rolling. There are quite a few excellent blogs that I have found out there that are both well designed and well written.

I find that my hunting and searching through the various blogs has been one way to distract myself from my upcoming counseling appointment that I have at 5 P.M. today. It is much easier to focus on something such as setting up a blog or how to blog than face myself and the issues I am looking at. Honestly, at times I am scared to look at myself and the pain. I just want to be "normal and happy," whatever that is, and not have pain so close to the surface. But I know that will not do. If you stuff the pain it will come out in one way or another.

I was encouraged by reading a blog entry titled from the "jaws of by distress" by IPHY over at, i took the red pill, (an excellent blog). While I don't know all the circumstances of her family pain and brokenness from childhood, I was encouraged by her candor and the better life that she has built with her own family. I was especially encouraged by the verse that she put at the end her post:
Job 36:16 "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food."

The "distress" that I felt as a child from about age 7 or 8 to age 15 still haunts me today. Sometimes I hear God wooing me to his table but I am scared of facing the pain again. So I distract myself, not always consciously, but sometimes knowingly. I need the freedom from the restriction, from the wounds that bind me. I know God is with me as I am on this journey to healing; I just need to meet with him and let him do his work on my heart. I know God will finish in me what he started, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

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