Hazy Memories

Primordial Past

I can't let go of the memories,
memories that haunt my present.
Like a backward beacon, they
call forward to my present.
Call out screaming,
the insidious memories, so painful
they hit me.
The recollections hit like bricks
falling from a 20 story building.
They smash my subconscious,
the past and the present merge.
I walk in a fog, my mind muddled.
The train of my thoughts keeps jumping
the track, memories
they just attack.
I want to run and hide,
close up my psyche inside.
Like diving down to the depths of my primordial past,
the subterranean grey matter bubbles up
thoughts of recollections.
They are as dim and dark as a moonless night.
Can't shake those mysterious fog-like thoughts,
they are blowing through the locker room of my past.

I shall sleep in a peace that Jesus will provide.

January 31, 2004

This just came bubbling out of me in a free writing exercise for a creative writing class I took this past semester. Other such poems just seemed to come out of me and I did not really think consciously about them, they just pore our sometimes. This is poem is one the many pain poems I have.